Everyone is talking about returning to the office and how it will work when some people are in the office, some are not, and some are both. Hybrid working, like the words ‘furlough’, ‘double-jabbed’ and ‘covid-secure’, have entered our everyday language as a result of the pandemic.
Having worked in roles and organisations where hybrid working has long been established, what I’ve noticed is that yes, you need to have some agreed working plans, structures and ways of communicating. But what often makes it fail, is forgetting that it’s the small things that make relationships effective and strong. People often talk about micro-inequities – small slights which make people feel excluded or worse, prejudiced against. But the absence of micro-affirmations has the same effect.
Micro-affirmations are small acts of inclusion which acknowledge someone’s value. Things such as showing genuine interest in someone, saying thank you, appreciating their contribution, asking their opinion and acknowledging their successes.
Most of us do these micro-affirmations automatically when we’re face to face with people. Saying thank you for a piece of work or a favour done, showing your appreciation when someone goes above and beyond – these seem to come easier when you are in the same office as others. But when we work remotely, and our colleagues and team members aren’t in front of us, it’s easier to forget to do these things. There is definitely a case of out of sight, out of mind.
However, these are the elements which make relationships strong and successful and which over time, build up to create strong rapport, familiarity, trust and mutual benefits for both parties. Without these things, relationships are transactional: conversations are task-based, and exchanges become information-driven as opposed to feelings and opinions-driven. And it’s only when we really need to call on that person for a favour, influence them, or we come into conflict with them, that we realise that the relationship isn’t where it needs to be.
So as we all get used to working with colleagues both online and in the office, at different times and possibly with less of a routine, ensuring we do these small things in order to build or maintain the strength of a relationship is crucial. Luckily, it doesn’t take much to create a stronger connection with anyone. But what it might require is more conscious effort, especially when we or our colleagues are working remotely.
Whilst these points may sound obvious to you, perhaps over the next week, make a note of how many of these you find yourself doing in all of your interactions with others (online and offline). Are there certain times, meetings or people where you are more likely to do these things than others? Micro-affirmations are more easily given to those who we already have an affinity with. Consciously using them with those who we would be less inclined to, can make a big impact on your work relationships, as well as helping to improve inclusivity.
If you realise you need to make more of a conscious effort in some of these things, here are some suggestions for how you can start making it a habit:
And if you are thinking “I don’t have time for any of that, I’ve got too much on” – make time. It is an investment for now and the future. Your own and your team’s success depends on working together effectively, whether it’s face to face, remotely or hybrid. If you let your relationships slide, it will take significantly more time and effort to repair them than to prevent it happening in the first place.
Hello! I’m Kate and I’m a leadership and management development expert and executive coach. If you’d like to find out more about how you can develop personally, help your team work together better and contribute more to your organisation, contact me at kate@kate-smith-consulting.co.uk
I’d love to hear from you – check out my LinkedIn page to find out more about me and how I can help you.
