When I ask people how they are, they often reply ‘busy’. Which is interesting in itself. In our modern world, ‘busy’ has become a feeling rather than a behaviour. Perhaps a code for overwhelmed – and most certainly an implication that time and space are in short supply.
Which is why for those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to pause over the mid-winter festive period, it’s an ideal opportunity to take stock. To reflect, observe and perhaps find insights that will help us process the past and enable us to prepare better for the future.
Of course, this time of year isn’t the only time we can do this. I try (!) to do some short reflections each quarter of my year, so that I can keep track of how I’m feeling, what’s going on for me and make any adjustments for the remainder of the year. I do this for my home life as well as my work life. Reflecting on our family, friendships, sources of joy, contentment and worries, can help prompt positive action or allow us to gain acceptance.
In the rush of time that seems to dominate our lives now, taking a short breath to understand where we’re at and where we’re going can seem like an indulgence we can’t afford, but the benefits are huge.
When we’re busy and over-whelmed, the stress hormone cortisol which is rushing around our system, causes reduced executive brain function. Basically, our decisions are poorer, our ability to rationalise and manage our emotions is reduced, and our world view becomes narrower. We don’t realise how stressed we are, we simply carry on – risking our own happiness and wellbeing, our relationships and our potential.
Essentially, self-reflection is a key part of increasing our self-awareness, which can be a catalyst for positive change.
Reflecting can help us to:
“Sounds great, Kate, but I haven’t got time for that”, I hear you say. Well, maybe you’re right. But I suspect most of you can carve out an hour, or even half an hour, to pause and reflect.
The reality is, if we don’t take time to reflect every now and then – even once a year – we can risk making the same mistakes over and over again, making poor decisions which we may then need to live with for a while, and not realising that our well-being is taking a nosedive.
Sometimes, “I don’t have time”, can be translated as “It’s not a priority for me”, and that’s understandable. Urgent and important issues crop up constantly, and let’s face it, introspection can be difficult. When we look ourselves in the face and ask: “How are things going for you, really?”, the answers may cause us discomfort.
Perhaps we feel like we have to take action in an already overwhelming world. Perhaps we haven’t quite achieved everything we set out to do (news flash – most of us don’t!), or we didn’t handle a situation the way we would have wanted to. We may worry that reflecting on ourselves will cause feelings of shame, failure and frustration. And so we may avoid doing it, because it’s easier to keep going and ignore deeper feelings. But in doing so, we’re also missing out on important learnings and opportunities for positive change, as well as feelings of strength, courage and connection. Of hope, excitement and positivity for the future.
Self-reflection is a way of observing ourselves without judgement – taking a step out of ourselves to see things that we may not have seen before. If you have fears, worries or regrets, instead of punishing yourself, simply notice them, consider what you can learn about them and what you can do or be in the future.
Taking just a little time out to reflect on how things are going for you is time worth taking. And whilst once a year is better than nothing, ideally, reflecting every few months may prevent you from putting up with a stressful or unhelpful situation for too long.
So find time in a way that’s right for you. Personally, I like to write things down, so putting it into my diary to do at certain times of the year works for me. But perhaps you may want to reflect:
I’ve attached here a list of questions you might find helpful to reflect on. It’s not exhaustive, and you may want to hand pick the ones most helpful to you and add your own. There’s loads out there, and I’ve linked to a few sites where you can find more inspiration.
Basically, they fall into a few buckets:
As you take a pause over the mid-winter period, include the intention to reflect. Be conscious in your desire to grow, to learn and to know yourself better. Consider the year to come – how you want to be in this new year, and what you want to give to the world.
Photo by Yeshi Kangrang on Unsplash
Read:
The Power of Self-Reflection | Psychology Today – psychologytoday.com
Self-Reflection As A Superpower – forbes.com
40 End-of-the-Year Journal Prompts for Self-Reflection and Growth – erincondren.com
420 Self-reflection Questions for Personal Growth: Unlock a New You – insideoutmastery.com
Watch:
Simon Sinek on How Reflection Informs Personal Growth – youtube.com
Rediscover You: The Power of Self-Reflection & Emotional Wellness. | Yahshikiah Huges | TEDxDover – youtube.com
